30.7.07

things I have learned while traveling

I just made it back from the UK (where my summer has been rain, rain, and more rain--but luckily no flooding where I was). During my trip back I have come across some situations and pieces of advice I feel the need to share. Whether this need is truly educational or merely a jet-lag induced symptom of not having slept in 24 hours, I am not sure. Here they are either way:
1. Don't, for the love of books, yell in an airport. Especially, don't yell at airport personnel. I was witness to THREE separate full volume yelling incidents and, let me tell ya, the airport employees were never the losing party. I would also guess that they really didn't deserve to be yelled at in the first place, but since I came upon each situation after it had hit full-volume little understanding mode I can't swear to it.
2. Never assume that your boarding gate will ever be posted. As it nears boarding time, just pick one random group of people to follow and track them to their line. Hey, it worked for me!
3. Don't assume that checking in online will actually be faster.It will actually be slower, and you will feel punished for attempting to speed things up.
4. Security lines are very quick now (at least at Heathrow). Non-security lines (see check in above or really, ANY other line in the airport including restroom line, line to board plane, line to sit down on plane, etc) will take forever as people get confused with basic procedure (look at the number on your ticket! Sit in THAT seat!)
5. Do not send your small children to collect your luggage. As cute as it may be to watch them struggle with that enormous suitcase, they are equally as likely to be almost decapitated in their lunge to grab and hold on to such a suitcase. They also get stepped on (not by me! I swear! It was the guy on my left!)
6. Always, if you can, sit next to a cheerful eight year old who is willing to show you which movies are actually good. With this bonus, you can watch "Flushed Away" (my new favorite movie) TWICE and find it hilarious both times. Extra credit if both parties repeatedly pause the movie the second time to make sure that the seat-mate has gotten the joke. Double extra credit if you exit the plane saying "Bingo, Scrabble, enough games! to the ratmobile!" to each other.
7. Rushing rarely gets you anywhere in a hurry. Trust me, fate thinks it's funny when you run people over in your frantic rush to Customs only to wait for the last piece of luggage to come off the belt.
8. It's always nice to be home after a long journey.